Checking in ...

I've not posted in a long while - things have seemed so grim the last six months, that I've experienced an unaccustomed sense of futility and hopelessness; so much so that I haven't cared to share anything with anyone: neither my self, nor my thoughts, or presence. I'm so sorry that I have thought only of myself, and that I don't know how to stop, yet. That, too, is an unaccustomed behaviour. I wish I understood better what was going on in my head. I don't know what I'm feeling.

Enough. On another note, I was reading today, and came across the following quotes, grouped together from Maya Angelou. I like what she has to say.  Namaste.

“Everything has rhythm. everything dances.

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that  you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

---  Maya Angelou

Balance - the Law of Parity

I rarely do this - but today, I have posted the same comments on both blog sites. I was listening to a personal development speaker the other day and one of those lightning moments occurred that set me thinking. The speaker was talking about the 'law of parity' - otherwise known as the concept of yin and yang in eastern philosophy, or as balance in the secular world. She had just said, "It is ridiculous, and futile, to keep doing the same things over and over again, because that way lies insanity."

I was on auto-pilot, taking notes and listening, but I snapped out right way, because what I had written, was "... over again, because that way lies inanity."  Inanity ... and my whole world came to a screeching halt for a split second. That cliched, hackneyed, and overused pronouncement about repetition morphed into something a bit more meaningful than what I believe the speaker to have meant, and that change raised a whole new set or questions.  I've been thinking about it ever since.

There are a lot of considerations; a lot of ways to look at it.  Let's start with a big one. Think about it a minute - what is it that we really mean when we use that admonition, anyway?  "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result than you got the last umpty-teenth times" (this is how my 16-year-old niece puts it). 

So what is it we are really doing?  Why are we doing it?  What is it that motivates us to repetitive actions? And what is it what we are really seeking to gain, when we do the same things over and over again?

Now I am not talking about routine, necessarily, or the necessary repetitiveness that's required to learn by rote, make widgits, or develop your vocal or instrumental music skills. I'm talking about the kinds of things some of my relatives do from time to time that afford opportunities to cry 'victim'.  I'm talking about the kinds of things we all do, and I'm including myself, that lead to the pity party, feeling sorry for ourselves - that ultimately, harm us and build up into obstacles blocking our way to what we really want.

So I wanted to understand this; I decided to start with the definitions of inanity and insanity.  I went to Webster's - here's what I found:

inanity - noun, the quality of being inane; or something devoid of meaning or sense. Syn.: vacuity, barrenness, emptiness, vapidness, vacuousness, fatuousness, void-ness, absurdity, asininity, craziness, foolishness, irrationality, folly

insanity - persistent mental disorder or derangement; or extreme foolishness or folly.  Syn.: craziness, dementia, lunacy, irrationality, fanaticism, compulsion, obsession, fanaticism

So the first thing one notices are the clear-cut similarities and differences: both mention folly, craziness, irrationality, and foolishness.  The differences all arise, it appears, from degree - insanity is more extreme, more virulent, dangerous, and is indicative of someone from whom the rest of us need protecting. Hmmm.

Inanity has a sense of emptiness - vacuum - about it, like the inside of a balloon - all of that space on the balloon's insides, and the membrane between it and the air without.  Some of us are like that - we have these holes inside us that we want - need - to fill.  We HURT. These holes are like big, sucking wounds, and those wounds sometimes are driving us to do things that bring temporary relief but increase the chaos. We're looking for some Psychic Aspirin. 

Here's the thing, though: we end up taking from others, setting up situations to get the relief we need, and bugger all what it does to anyone else - just as long as we get what WE want. And we get REALLY comfortable doing these same things over and over again, without thinking, because it's working - right now, anyway. We take and take and take until those we take from are emptied. Then we panic and the pity party starts anew, our self-destructive tendencies take control, we cross the line into insanity - it's not good for anyone.

Perhaps a little forethought, a little planning, and a huge dose of compassion and care for others can keep us in balance, in check, and stop the madness ...