Balance - the Law of Parity

I rarely do this - but today, I have posted the same comments on both blog sites. I was listening to a personal development speaker the other day and one of those lightning moments occurred that set me thinking. The speaker was talking about the 'law of parity' - otherwise known as the concept of yin and yang in eastern philosophy, or as balance in the secular world. She had just said, "It is ridiculous, and futile, to keep doing the same things over and over again, because that way lies insanity."

I was on auto-pilot, taking notes and listening, but I snapped out right way, because what I had written, was "... over again, because that way lies inanity."  Inanity ... and my whole world came to a screeching halt for a split second. That cliched, hackneyed, and overused pronouncement about repetition morphed into something a bit more meaningful than what I believe the speaker to have meant, and that change raised a whole new set or questions.  I've been thinking about it ever since.

There are a lot of considerations; a lot of ways to look at it.  Let's start with a big one. Think about it a minute - what is it that we really mean when we use that admonition, anyway?  "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result than you got the last umpty-teenth times" (this is how my 16-year-old niece puts it). 

So what is it we are really doing?  Why are we doing it?  What is it that motivates us to repetitive actions? And what is it what we are really seeking to gain, when we do the same things over and over again?

Now I am not talking about routine, necessarily, or the necessary repetitiveness that's required to learn by rote, make widgits, or develop your vocal or instrumental music skills. I'm talking about the kinds of things some of my relatives do from time to time that afford opportunities to cry 'victim'.  I'm talking about the kinds of things we all do, and I'm including myself, that lead to the pity party, feeling sorry for ourselves - that ultimately, harm us and build up into obstacles blocking our way to what we really want.

So I wanted to understand this; I decided to start with the definitions of inanity and insanity.  I went to Webster's - here's what I found:

inanity - noun, the quality of being inane; or something devoid of meaning or sense. Syn.: vacuity, barrenness, emptiness, vapidness, vacuousness, fatuousness, void-ness, absurdity, asininity, craziness, foolishness, irrationality, folly

insanity - persistent mental disorder or derangement; or extreme foolishness or folly.  Syn.: craziness, dementia, lunacy, irrationality, fanaticism, compulsion, obsession, fanaticism

So the first thing one notices are the clear-cut similarities and differences: both mention folly, craziness, irrationality, and foolishness.  The differences all arise, it appears, from degree - insanity is more extreme, more virulent, dangerous, and is indicative of someone from whom the rest of us need protecting. Hmmm.

Inanity has a sense of emptiness - vacuum - about it, like the inside of a balloon - all of that space on the balloon's insides, and the membrane between it and the air without.  Some of us are like that - we have these holes inside us that we want - need - to fill.  We HURT. These holes are like big, sucking wounds, and those wounds sometimes are driving us to do things that bring temporary relief but increase the chaos. We're looking for some Psychic Aspirin. 

Here's the thing, though: we end up taking from others, setting up situations to get the relief we need, and bugger all what it does to anyone else - just as long as we get what WE want. And we get REALLY comfortable doing these same things over and over again, without thinking, because it's working - right now, anyway. We take and take and take until those we take from are emptied. Then we panic and the pity party starts anew, our self-destructive tendencies take control, we cross the line into insanity - it's not good for anyone.

Perhaps a little forethought, a little planning, and a huge dose of compassion and care for others can keep us in balance, in check, and stop the madness ...

Dragon-Chasing and Life's Purpose

I've been thinking again. Life can sometimes be uncertain, and in that uncertainty, we can lose our way. Things come along that fascinate - take control - take us away. In that time of life, living is not unlike chasing dragons - or rather, we can let it get that way. And what is dragon-chasing like? Well, the thing you're chasing is illusive, slippery, quick, and devious. It soars like a bird, it twinkles with the colors of the rainbow, and its skin flashes light back at you like diamonds. It deceives, bewitches, and seduces with the truth. It's said if you meet one, never - ever - look it in the eyes. If you do, it will melt your heart and take your soul. Then all that's left is to give what's left of your heart to [INSERT HIGHER POWER OF YOUR CHOICE], because the rest of you belongs to that dragon. When it breathes, you breathe. When it moves, you move. If it dies ... Now, let's get real here - as far as we know, dragons don't exist, but they can be used as a metaphor for the things that can confuse and confound us and add that element of uncertainty. Dratted things pop up, and take us where we don't want to go - all because it seems like we must chase that dragon's tail, wherever it leads, or die trying. Doesn't matter what that dragon is - 'love', obsession, bad habits (human, pharmaceutical, financial), pain, martyrdom, power, control, helplessness, needing to be needed - they all can turn our head, cloud our minds so we can't think. So what to do? It's not necessary to expend a lot of energy trying to resist temptation or fight things off - we can deal with confusion by knowing it for what it is, and let it pass by, undisturbed. Doesn't sound hard, does it? It isn't. Observe the effect of rain falling. Personally, I love the sound, the smell (if it's clean), the feel of it. Wonderful stuff. Water comes to us sometimes, from Nature, with a lot of drama, dash, sound and fury. It scares some people out of their minds; others revel in it. And have you ever sat and watched rain falling into water? Whether striking into mud puddles, ponds, lakes, streams, creeks, or rills - rain always falls the same way: it slams into the surface with a plop - the big SPLASH! (there's that dragon again!) - it pushes the area beneath it down ... out ... up ... away. The water surface beneath the drop flies up and breaks into smaller droplets which fall back on the surface, starting new waves - affecting the whole big surface of the water body as the process repeats over and over again ... . Rain falling = big splashes = lots of waves - it's all very hypnotic. And it doesn't seem stop - it just goes on and on (at least, until the rain ends). But what is REALLY changing in all of this? And how serious is it? The environment changes - for a little while, anyway, and the disturbance from the falling drops are something we talk about all the time: we call it the ripple effect. New waves form when other raindrops fall - there is NEVER just one - they, too, move away and make new waves, the drops left behind are re-absorbed into the larger body of water, and in the meantime, all becomes still in the center again. In the end, the waves pass away. THEREIN LIES THE SOURCE OF THE CONFUSION - AND THEREIN LIES THE LESSON. The thing is, in the long-term, the water body changes very little, and the rain has come and gone. The waves caused by the drop, its daughters, and companions, are temporary; things always go back to the way they were - calm, smooth, waveless. So what all of this mean? Dragons - or big splashes - can take us by the throat, bedazzle our eyes, and lead us off our path. They can make us think what's happening - the sound and fury and the waves - are the most important things going on in our little worlds, and thus we get lost. Or we can watch these 'dragons', appreciate them for the glorious things they are, and keep our focus, while we cherish and nourish our own dreams, keep walking the path we're on, nourish the people we have allowed into our lives and nourish ourselves. Remember - just like the dragon in the stories, we, too, can fly, soar, and sing so that the Spirits pause to listen. And doing these things, we allow no confusion to creep in. There is purpose, determination and deliberate intent - our own singing - to keep us focused. In focus, there is no confusion - you can race the Sun and dance with the Moon. And for a moment - just one - every day, we all can remember if we pause what the world was before our eyes grew wise. We recall everything in that world as wondrous, marvelous, mysterious, and fascinating, and we can remember when WE were part of that wonder - a marvel, a mystery, and just as fabulous as that dragon staring us in the eyes. We can see the way babies see things ... clearly, without doubt, the way dragons are said to. And then, you can listen to that siren song lurking behind the dragon's eyes and still see things the way they could be, as well as the way they are. In this there is the knowledge of how to get past, to win through, to go on, to pass confusion by. And as we are doing this (quoting the late Jimmie Spheeris): I say, 'let it rain ...' " ... for I am the mercury - light of the morning looking for shelter in this thunder and this rain and you like some windmill weave light where its storming your love like a potion for the hunger and the pain Let it rain ... " - from "I am the Mercury", Jimmie Spheeris, 1971, album "Isle of View" (I love you) Namaste. Acknowledgement: dragon photos from Ancient Dragon's Gallery